We have finally made it. Week 0 was a nice appetizer; but football is officially back. With Week 1 going through Labor Day weekend, I thought this would be a great time to have a end of summer Labor Day themed 6 pack. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the spread.
1. Hot Dogs: Penn State @ West Virginia +7.5
Hot Dogs always get the little brother treatment. Hot Dogs get their well-deserved respect only one time of year, The 4th of July. Personally, I love Hot Dogs, more than cheeseburgers. Penn State is the Hot Dog of the Big 10. We only care about them about once a year, duirng their Ohio state/michigan game or their white out game. We overlook them because they can’t win the big game. Losing to Thē Ohio State University and Michigan does not make you a bad team. Penn State has the opportunity to be a playoff team year in and year out under the new format
On the flip side, West Virginia feels very overrated this year. Neal Brown was close to losing his job at the beginning of the year and now they are a dark horse contender with a break out potential quarterback. I don’t buy any of it. This team will go under their win total this year and greatly disappoint. This team is the Bar S brand of Hot Dogs. This is also fitting because that’s what their fans cook 5 times a week over couch fires.
Pretty easy formula to follow West Virginia = Dog Water. Penn State > West Virginia. Make this your best bet, don’t even think twice about it.
Pick: Penn State -7.5
2. Coleslaw: Illinois State @ Iowa -24
Coleslaw makes an appearance at most cookouts but is often left off the plate. Maybe you have it on a pulled pork sandwich, but it’s not a top item of choice. However, those who love it, need it. They swear by it. They eat it plain and savor the Slaw’s bland existence. This is Iowa football.
I missed Iowa football. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of that offense. It was a well-made Shakespeare tragedy. An offensive that we saw historically low totals week in and week out. A father had to put his offensive coordinator son on a point total target to fight for his job. Everything was beautiful. Run, run, run, punt. The way football was made to be played. Personally, I don’t want to play this total. I NEED TO PLAY THIS TOTAL. This Iowa offense is ahead of its time; the public just doesn’t understand the abstract art that is Hawkeye football. I’ll take over 38 in this one
Pick: Over 38
3. 7 layer dip: South Dakota State @ Oklahoma State -9.5
Everyone loves a good 7 Layer Dip. The first few initial bites are not the best because the layers have not been mixed together too well. Doesn’t start the strongest but always finishes strong. This sounds exactly like Oklahoma State to me. Also, it’s a 7 layer dip, 1 layer for every year Alan Bowman has been a college football quarterback
Oklahoma State always starts their seasons slow. Losing to South Alabama, Struggling vs Tulsa (twice), Missouri State, Central Michigan, and Central Arkansas. Same thing every year. This is why South Dakota State is the obvious play here. However, I will ignore the obvious and probably lose taking Oklahoma State -9.5. I will back the experienced Bowman to change their early season woes. I’ll lay the 9.5 with Oklahoma State and hopefully not regret this decision.
Pick: Oklahoma State -9.5
4. Fruit Salad: UNLV @ Houston -3
A fruit Salad seems like a great idea until put into practice. A mixture of your favorite refreshing fruits, a sweet, healthier treat. However, over time, this mixture is exposed by its environment and can’t handle the elements at a cookout. The salad is reduced down to hot fruit that attracts many flies. This sounds like Former Coach Dana’s time at Houston to me. Sweet and great at the beginning, hot garbage at the end.
Willie Fritz will turn this team around, but it won’t happen in year one. UNLV is coming off of a great year by their standards and can continue to build momentum into this season. That won’t happen in this game for one reason. Houston still has Donovan Smith at quarterback and he has that dog in em. I’ll lay the 3 with Houston in this one.
Pick: Houston -3
5. Old Fashioned Cheese Burger: Notre Dame @ Texas A&M -3
Get the burgers out, this is the one all of you will have on your plate. Two passionate and hated fan bases. Kyle Field. Ranked Matchup. This is what we all want to see. I’m excited to see both defenses in this game. Both teams will win a lot of games on that side of the ball. Can Riley Leonard win a big road game in his first start for Notre Dame? I don’t know, but I can tell you I sure as hell am not picking Aggie.
They will be too exhausted from staying up to tell abysmal jokes and whooping at their midnight yell. It’s hard to be more annoying than a football team that believes God chose them to carry out his message through football. It is hard to be more annoying than a fan base that praises a movie about their underdog walk on, when in reality his teammates were just making fun of him the whole time.
Good for you Aggie you found a way to be worse than that. I have to take Notre Dame in this one. I’ll take the points and money line. I can’t keep looking at these horrific midnight yells.
Pick: Notre Dame +3 & Notre Dame ML
6. Affordable American Adjunct Lager: Miami OH @ Northwestern -3.5
This is the 30 rack of whatever affordable American Adjunct Lager you are bringing to the cookout. Sure the first couple may not go down smooth, but in due time they start to flow pretty easily. That will be this football game. Plus, you will need to drink a few ro enjoy northwestern football. They are diet Iowa that just loses every game. Not to mention, I believe this game will be played on a practice field… you might need to polish of a few cold ones to watch this.
Fair warning, I’m partial to Miami OH. I took them to new heights under In EA Sports College Football 25. Brett Gabbert broke every record imaginable throwing for almost 1,000 yards every game. Pro Tip, run Verticals every play. It is unstoppable, just like in the old games.
Northwestern is bad, Miami OH will win the MAC this year, take the Redhawks plus the points and ML.
Pick: Miami OH +3.5 & Miami OH ML & Over 39.5
There you go, 9 picks squeezed into the 6 pack for you to enjoy. Now, to stay on the Labor Day theme, I must offer you all a burger. That’s right, the full 30 rack this week will be a 50 burger. This could go well or likely blow up in my face. I’m so glad football is back.
10: Clemson +13.5
11: Clemson Georgia under 48.5
12: Toledo -27.5
13: Virginia Tech -13.5
14: Boise State -13
15: UTEP +27.5
16: Syracuse -16.5
17: Florida ML
18: Florida +3
19: UTSA -24
20: UNC ML
21: UNC -2
22: UMASS -2.5
23: Stanford +9
24: Colorado O 31.5
25: Texas -32
26: Oklahoma -42
27: South Carolina -21
28: South Alabama -5.5
29: Troy -8.5
30: Sam Houston State +10.5
31: Alabama -31.5
32: Fresno State + 21.5
33: Hawaii +14
34: Georgia State +21.5
35: James Madison -7
36: Wyoming +7
37: Wyoming ML
38: USC +4
39: USC ML
40: USC LSU O 64
41: FSU -16.5
42: California -19.5
43: Mississippi State -24.5
44: New Mexico +31.5
45: BYU -14
46: LA Tech -7.5
47: TTU -31
48: TTU ACU O 56.5
49: SMU HBU O 56.5
50: New Mexico State -8
