Record: 19-23-2
Mission accomplished.
We had a winning week, we are so back. New goal: get over .500. Looking at the board, I think we can make that happen. I have an assorted 6 pack that was hard to narrow down this week. It might be worth taking a look at the whole 12 pack; we are picking winners only this week. Join me on this journey of flavor.
1. Near Beer: Texas Tech @ Baylor +1
Oh, the Near Beers. They look like beer, smell like beer, and taste like beer. They can fool you, but they are not beer. Kind of like a good, high moral, Baptist university. They might look like good Christians with high morales, but they will turn a blind eye to absolute atrocities committed on human beings. Why? Because they were winning football games.
Big yikes. Their values may not be as high and mighty as they seem. Well, our beloved Red Raiders roll into town trying to string a couple of solid performances together. Baylor struggles against the run, giving up explosive plays constantly. Taj Brooks is licking his lips, looking at this match-up. Behren will continue to improve, Taj will have a big day, the Red Raiders win this one comfortably.
Pick: Texas Tech -1
2. Double IPA: Alabama @ Texas A&M +1
Here you go, the IPA crowd again. Except this time, it’s the double IPA. These “beer enthusiasts” needed an even hoppier beer just to let you know that they really like beer. Their taste buds are more developed than the average drinker, and they will let you know it. This beer has a cult like following consisting of snobby entitled weirdos. Wait a second, all of this sounds so familiar. People who think they are better than you and will let you know it? Cult like? Snobby? Entitled? Wierd? I just can’t place my finger on it.
Oh ya, how can I forget those weirdos. It’s Aggie ladies and gentlemen. Nothing describes an Aggie more than a double IPA snob. Aggie has the size in the interior to give Alabama trouble. Texas was dominant at Alabama in the trenches, and A&M is just as talented, if not more than UT in that area. Max Johnson is an experienced quarterback and should play well for Aggie. All of that being said, this is Alabama with Nick Saban. Also, I’d be damned if I ever chose Aggie. Give me Bama on the road to cover 1.
Pick: Alabama -1
3. American Lager: Oklahoma @ Texas -5 (Neutral Site)
Time to enjoy the sites and scenes from the Texas State fair. These are your name brand teams. The University of Texas and the University of Oklahoma. Just like your popular name brand beer, Bud Light, Miller Lite, Michelob. Also, at the state fair you can enjoy these beers alongside your fried twinkies and deep-fried oreos. There are so many options and so many variables, you aren’t sure what you will get. This Oklahoma team is the same. They can be so different from week to week, I don’t know what to expect. They finally had a big win last week over Iowa State, but they still didn’t impress me much.
Meanwhile, Texas has been very impressive this year. They had the talent to overpower Alabama, and Quinn Ewers is the real deal. Texas is a more proven commodity at the moment, and I hate to say it, but they might be back. Give me Texas -5 in this game.
Pick: Texas -5
4. American Adjunct Lager: LSU @ Mizzou +5
LSU needs to get back to basics here. Don’t be cute, grab the PBRs and Natty lights. Get the job done. LSU is a much more talented team, don’t overthink this. Mizzou has had a great start to the season because they have played nobody. LSU needs a win here, or the season can turn very south real soon. We like to make fun of Brian Kelly a lot, but he is a good coach. This is a great buy low spot on LSU. Buy low on your affordable beer and Buy low on the Tigers. Lay the 5 with LSU.
Pick: LSU -5
5. Your Favorite Beer: Purdue @ Iowa -2.5
Close your eyes. Imagine yourself lounging out by the water. Cold beer in your hand, no care in the world. Your ultimate happy place. Whatever beer you pictured in your head is this game. The problem is I’m a little messed up in the head, so my happy place is a hard-nosed football game with minimal scoring and a fat quarterback. Shout out to the hefty lefty, RIP big fella.
Call me a football purist, I love a defensive football game. A lack of offense that is quite literally offensive. That is Iowa. I keep going back to them and taking them every week. Well, now their starting quarterback is out. The offense is so inept that I really don’t think that matters. In steps the backup Deacon Hill (cool name) a 6’3″ 260 pound monster. This guy loves the deep ball, lowers his shoulder, and loves contact. I’m sold. I don’t care if he can play or not, I’m all in on the guy. I’m going to lay the 2.5 with Iowa at home. Purdue loves to turn the ball over, and Iowa will thrive on that.
Pick: Iowa -2.5
6. Seltzers: Colorado @ Arizona State +3.5
There is a time and place for Seltzers. On a really hot day, they can be refreshing. When you want something smooth and easy to drink, they are there for you. You have to pick your spots with Seltzers and you’ll enjoy them. Like that Colorado has to pick their spots well and have a good season. This team won 1 game last year. Just because they lose to the Oregon and USCs of the world doesn’t mean it’s a bad season. This is where Deion steps up and gets the wins. There is enough talent on this Colorado team to be able to take care of this Arizona State team. Time for Deion to get the boys back on track here. Lay the 3.5 with Colorado on the road.
Pick: Colorado -3.5
Well, I chose all favorites. I’m not sure if I should be worried about that or not. I had a lot of fun picking these games this week; feels like a lot of winners. Take a look at the rest of the 12 pack as well. I think we are about to have a big week. Now is the time to ride. Remember, every pick is a winner until it’s not.
7. Marshall +6.5
8. UCF -2
9. Rutgers +13
10. Notre Dame -6.5
11. TCU -6.5
12. Rice -9.5
